Warning: This article may offend some people. I don’t hate anyone from any place, I love all my Muslim brothers and sisters. I’m just offering some honest truth-take it and get over yourself.
1. Don’t wear such heavy cologne.
If I have to sit next to you for a +10 hour flight, could you not wear such a strong cologne. Not only does it make the person nauseous but the whole plane too. It makes me think that its their nonverbal way of telling others, where they are from. If you have ever met someone from the gulf region, you know they have a distinctive smell. Its like a mix of musk, Gucci cologne and an unknown scent. Kind of like that mystery lollipop flavor that you sometimes come across in a bag of dum dums. Its the same in the African regions and don’t get me started with the Indian and Pakistani men, they don’t even have to wear a cologne because you cant smell it over the bareyani dish from their last meal. No offense to any of those areas, but really a shower and deodorant will suffice.
2. Follow the airline rules.
Just because the flight attendants and the staff on the airlines are also Muslim or from your same country, doesn’t mean you disregard the rules on the airplane. Don’t get up when the flight attendants tell everyone to sit down and don’t go around the airplane looking for someone to chit chat. I’m sure that there might be someone from your neighborhood on the plane, but do you have to stand and block the aisle while you talk to them for over an hour. Your ass is in my face and I’m trying to sleep. I have no problem with people talking to each other when they are sitting next to each other on the airplane, but you are talking loud to the guy behind me that you don’t sit next to, and you just met. If a majority of the people on the plane are sleeping and all the lights are off, its safe to say that its not time to start talking and making friends. Moral of this tip: Be courteous and use your indoor voice.
3. Don’t always try to hit on the girl next to you.
I get it, you’re looking for a wife. But does that mean that you have to talk to every girl sitting next to you on a flight. Maybe you are just being nice and want to play 20 questions. But how about just giving up your arm rest, moving when they have to use the restroom, giving them the window seat and waking them when dinner time comes…see that’s being nice. Now if you want to get to know someone on a flight, then at least be smart about it. Don’t just jump into a conversation with asking them about their life story and trying to throw in the question about whether they are married or not. Buddy, you are not the first person to do it, it doesn’t work. And please don’t switch places with your mom so that she can interrogate us. If you find that when you return from the bathroom or look away for a second and we put on some headphones, this is what it really means. (a) We are pretending to listen to music so you don’t talk to us and/or (b) This conversation is over and this song rocks! My advice to the single and looking group of flyers who want to find their potential other half on a 10 hour flight to Jordan: be yourself. And ladies, don’t forget your headphones on your next international flight.
4. Don’t BYOSD (Bring Your Own Side Dishes)
Unless you are flying first class, chances are your food will be disgusting. In some cases you get lucky and get a great tasting pudding to go with your meal. Its part of flying internationally, you get food that looks like a microwave dinner but tastes ten times worse. But, what I cant understand is how the TSA let people come on board with cucumbers, makhala (pickeled vegetables) and hummus. Hummus…really?! Wouldn’t that be considered a liquid? All of a sudden the guy next to you has pulled out his own side dishes, humus and khubuz (bread) to add to the not so delicious dinner. Not only do we have to deal with the food they give us, but now its like were having this huge picnic 30,000 miles in the air. I have the older lady on my left eating cucumbers she grabbed from her carry-on and the guy to my left getting humus out of his pocket. I love hummus like the next Palestinian but there is something about mashed potatoes and hummus on top that just doesn’t click for me. Snacks are great but bringing a dinner enough for 10 is going a little bit overboard. My advise: Ditch the stuff that smells too strongly and not too much that you cant fit all your food on the tray in front of you. People don’t take kindly to other people using their tray when they are napping…but you should know that already.
Finally where ever you are going in the world you need to make sure that you:
(a) say Bismillah
(b) Make the duaa for traveling
(c) Follow my other tips above
And just remember, you are not the only one flying on that plane. Common courtesy would be nice.
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